We would all prefer perfection . . . I think. Somehow perfection frees us from failure and pain and struggle. It just sets everything straight. Perfection makes the road smooth and always sets it in the right direction at just the right speed. It eliminates the fear of failure because failure’s simply not a part of it. Uncertainty vanishes. Guesswork is gone. Speculation becomes unnecessary because perfection means everything works out all the time, every time. You don’t have to worry about playing the fool, being the idiot, looking dumb or feigning stupid. It’ll all be ok because perfection is the ultimate okay.
What’s the Purpose?
Isn’t it odd that we all have this desire to strive for perfection? Weird isn’t it? I mean, none of us can reach it. We know that. I don’t know if any of us really believes we can reach perfection, but we sure work hard to get as close to it as we can. We want to snuggle right up next to it anyway, snapping mental pictures of just how close we can get when we really try. Oddly enough, when we get close to perfection, or what we think is close, it seems a whole lot farther off than it did before. But one way or another, we’ve all tried to get there.
So what’s the purpose of pursuing something that we can’t achieve? Human nature does things for reasons. Sometimes the reasons aren’t real rational or level headed, but there’s typically a reason for what we do. So there must be something about this perfection thing.
If you think about it, perfection is the pinnacle. It’s the summit. It’s a measure of our efforts or our talents or our abilities. We gauge our value, our worth, our giftedness, our talents, our acumen or lack thereof on how close that we can get to this thing called perfection. For many it’s the yardstick that measures our worth. It’s the ever elusive barometer that lets us know how good we really are.
Something about Our Worth
More times than not, the pursuit of perfection has something to do with our self-worth. It’s not that being our best or excelling is a problem. But when we attached our worth to our achievement, something is wrong. It’s the old adage about “human-being” verses “human-doing” if you get that. It means that each of us have value just because we are who we are. For some of us that’s real difficult to embrace. Because we can’t embrace it we have to prove our worth to both ourselves and others. We have to substantiate that we’re not just taking up space and sucking air. We have to legitimize our existence by proving our worth. So perfection is the proving grounds. The closer we get, the better we are. The less space between us and perfection, the greater our worth. Our worth is tied to our proximity to perfection.
But sometimes it’s not even about how close we get, but rather the amount of effort we’re exerting to get there. Our worth can be enhanced by a bold effort, an exhaustive try, a gallant run, an all-out frontal assault on perfection. We may end up quite a distance from perfection and we may be incredibly beleaguered in trying to assail its summit, but we believe that the valiant effort to get there says something about our worth.
Either way, whether it’s an attempt to get as close to perfection as possible, or to show some tireless effort to get there, we are in both instances most often attempting to prove our worth.
How about Inherent Worth?
Maybe we need to wrap our arms around a fundamental concept. We all have worth. It’s that simple. However, it’s hard to believe sometimes, especially when the circumstances of our lives and the messages of those who have crossed our paths scream otherwise. For many of us, there’s a whole bunch of circumstances and a whole crowd of people that say something quite different.
Despite all that, we all have worth. There’s something for each of us to do in this life that no one else can do quite as well. The old saying about no two snowflakes being alike gets a bit sappy and worn. However, there’s something to it. There’s a place and a role for each of us for which we are uniquely suited. It may be small. It may be large. It may be incredibly influential or it may only send out of few shallow ripples. Either way, we’re made for it and we find our worth in realizing that only we can do it.
You don’t need to prove your worth. It’s a given. Life bestowed you with value by giving you life. You’re not mistake. You’re here at this specific time in history, with the unique experiences that you have, with the gifts that have been granted you for a reason. You are packed full of worth that’s screaming to be released to fulfill the role you’ve been put here to fulfill. It can be passionate and run wild within you. It can be suffocated if it’s restrained. But it’s there. And it says something powerful about your worth.
How about Believing in You?
How about believing in you? How about getting over the need to prove yourself to yourself or others and simply living with a vitality that squeezes the most out of every day regardless of how close you get to perfection? How about passionate living that’s not about perfection but about living believing that you have worth and purpose? How about striving to achieve just for the sheer fun of it? How about believing in you and simply running with it? How about it? It can change everything.
Craig Lounsbrough
M. Div., LPC